Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse has always been considered a sensitive topic to discuss amongst many people especially when you run a risk in spreading the wrong information or possibly hurting someone’s feelings for saying the wrong thing. When exploring sexual abuse cases, one can take into consideration or ever so acknowledge what goes unspoken of. For example, according to Rainn.org, the majority of sexual abuse cases go unreported, this is because “3 out 4 victims do not report” and only “5 out of 1000 perpetrators will end up in jail”. This website has helped spread useful up to date information in statistical information. The majority of the time, when these crimes go unreported it is due to the lack of comfort that the victim feels when attempting or even considering to report the perpetrator. One can come to question whether the resources provided are beneficial or not. Whether or not the variables of gender, and environment play a significant role, what resources are made available for victims to cope with traumatic experiences in sexual abuse?
Male Victims
Automatically, when thinking about sexual abuse, the first thing to come to mind would be a woman, it does not typically occur to them, that men are also apart of this situation or let alone abused in any way. Men have always anticipated that they live in an era where they are shamed for even remotely going through sexual abuse. They are perceived in negative ways or often shamed for not being man enough to enjoy or possibly fight back. However, oftentimes, because of this build-up of suppressed emotions and the lack of ability to have a normal conversation about their experience, this tends to lead to possible future molesters. As Machado stated, there has to be light shed upon male victims. It is crucial to be able to reach out to those in need and provide them the proper treatment and emotional support. As he keeps mentioning, there is a strong belief in which popularizing these demands attracts other’s insights and “sensitized to the difficulties… and develop services for them” There are few reportings of aggression towards men because of the lack of reports that men fail to do. As mentioned by Ferren in his book review, he mentions how “The phenomenon of male childhood sexual abuse has been hidden from the public eye by a constellation of societal myths regarding the meaning of being male. Although there are a few, the lack of social media awareness or even consideration prevents the proper use of such resources.
Websites like The Male Survivor, allow for a great opportunity for any male victim or non-victim to feel safe in looking into other similar cases like theirs. The original name for this website was National Organization on Male Sexual Victimization. For example, on its website, they offer to; “Read about trauma— and how men…have learned to cope with and even overcome its effects. Plus, get access to therapists, support groups and other resources.” Being able to provide men the opportunity to express their feelings reaches out further than anticipated. In the article, “Deterring and detecting the sophisticated sexual predator: Enhanced pre-employment measures, policies and staff development efforts can help” by Micheal Dorn, the author depicts strategic ways in how to detect someone who could be a potential abuser. In many cases, the perpetrator is someone the family knows or is well trusted amongst the community. The “dangerous predators were not properly screened or supervised and knew how to groom uninformed and inadequately trained adults.” The author’s use of strategies is important when trying to include different methods of decreasing the number of abusers or possibly pointing out those who have had a history or are currently abusing someone. Possibly including more sources like these and building off of their ideas helps answer my thesis question and develop solutions in making resources available to individuals who need it or families who want to prevent such things from happening. Although men experience less abuse or violence, it does not necessarily mean that they should not be provided with the same resources or the same attention.
Women’s experience:
When first introduced to this 39-year-old woman, who has asked for her name to be anonymous, I was surprised to find out she had even gone through terrible things. She currently lives with her husband, her daughters and her newborn son. She had wanted to share her personal story so that others could know what things can happen to other young women. Her first memory of sexual abuse was around the age of 6. She had wanted to go with her mom to the store because of the fear that she has already had a bad feeling that a family friend would potentially bring her trouble, and as her gut feeling suspected, it did. Shortly after her mom had left with her friend, the family friend had attempted to molest her. However, this was not the first time this had happened, one of the things that stood out the most was when the interview started mentioning relatives like her brother and cousin. Hearing her voice crack, and not being able to talk to her in a way that would help her brought to mind ways to possibly teach other people how to comfort someone in such a sensitive topic. At around the same time she had her first experience with the family friend, she also had another encounter with her older brother. It was not until after a couple of times in which she had to deal with this did her brother stop. He had noticed the pain in which she was suffering. However, not many girls are fortunate in this situation.
Although there were many more situations in which she had to endure in silence, one of the many things that stuck out in her situation, was her lifestyle. She grew up in poverty and she was practically raised in an environment in which she was told that the men of the household had a complete say in what was done. Along with sexual abuse, many people like this 39-year-old woman, a young woman who endures poverty also endure physical abuse. It is hard to understand what is going through the heads of these sexual abuse victims. Many of the times these women do not know there are going through such a thing, the way they are raised or the lack of education received can play a huge role in understanding what’s right from what’s wrong. The organization for National Sexual Assault has a Hotline in which many people, victims or not can be able to call ( 1-800-656-4673) for more information. This is available 24 hours every day.
Rainn.org. They also offer services online or in person. To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.
Gaslighting
Another reason in which people might not report their perpetrator would have to be because of the use of gaslighting. Although some do not use this specifically, it is common to see that there are women who do not report because they are manipulated in not doing so. In Cynthia A. Stark’s writing of, “Gaslighting, Misogyny, and Psychological Oppression” she states how capturing “the idea that discrediting women who accuse men of abuse is a strategy for undermining women”. There is a long history of questioning the reportings of women and discrediting these statements which have resulted in cases where the perpetrator find a way to get out of punishments of the law. Starks introduces the scenario that goes as follows, “Suppose a woman is manipulated into believing that sexual harassment is merely flirting and that her dislike of it is a sign of immaturity.”(Stark) These manipulations change her perception of what she should be tolerated or not. Sometimes the person in which they trust tell her these things leading her to be confused and even at times make her question her judgment calls.
These gas lighters will always find a way to manipulate the other person and make it so subtle overtime that by the time they have full control, the victim would not even know it. Women would feel as if their complaints were not credible because they would feel as if it would come out of a result of a defect from within themselves, they would come to believe that they are defective and that those negative feelings they felt would come from them rather than from the actions of the abuser (Stark). These gaslighting tricks that can very much confuse a woman have been used in many cases and plays a big role in a lack of reporting sexual cases. As mentioned by Stark, “gaslighters accuse women of fabricating harms when those women have no motive to do so and when in fact they have a strong motive not to do so” (Stark). When gas lighters begin to play the victim and accuse the victim of causing them harm, it is when the actual victim starts to question themselves and feel apologetic for the wrong reasons. These types of manipulation prevent the right actions to be taken to support the right victims.
At the end of the day, the lack of proper resources in rough areas had provided a lack of help to those who need it. Being able to spread awareness is always a good idea, especially towards men who have suffered in silence. They are by far the least considered and do not have as many sources that are provided for them. The struggles in reaching the public’s attention in equity as that of women can be resolved with the right amount of media input and actions taken. Furthermore, reading about a woman’s story with her history of abuse and violence can merely capture a glimpse of how much suffering or abuse an individual takes. This ongoing violence that emerges from childhood to adulthood has tremendous impacts on an adult’s life. The factor of the environment plays a role in which those who live in low-income families tend to have less access to the resources provided to women. Being able to bring to light these resources can help families deal with this situation and learn how to cope with traumatic events. Having resources available does not always mean that it reaches everyone. Having a system that provides this can successfully see a change of reporting.
“About the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline.” RAINN, https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline
Anonymous, Personal Interview, October 2019
Ferren, Donald. “The Male Survivor: The Impact of Sexual Abuse.” The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, vol. 7, no. 2, 1998, p. 170+. Gale Academic OneFile, https://link-gale-com.ccny-proxy1.libr.ccny.cuny.edu/apps/doc/A21158936/AONE?u=cuny_ccny&sid=AONE&xid=ce5c157c. Accessed 4 Nov. 2019.
Stark, Cynthia A. “Gaslighting, Misogyny, and Psychological Oppression.” The Monist, vol. 102, no. 2, 2019, p. 221+. Gale Academic OneFile, https://link-gale-com.ccny-proxy1.libr.ccny.cuny.edu/apps/doc/A588990516/AONE?u=cuny_ccny&sid=AONE&xid=703647d1. Accessed 4 Nov. 2019.
Dorn, Michael. “Deterring and detecting the sophisticated sexual predator: Enhanced pre-employment measures, policies and staff development efforts can help.” District Administration, Sept. 2019, p. 28. Gale Academic OneFile, https://link-gale-com.ccny-proxy1.libr.ccny.cuny.edu/apps/doc/A599053237/AONE?u=cuny_ccny&sid=AONE&xid=5a1a1293. Accessed 4 Nov. 2019.
“Family, Domestic and Sexual Violence in Australia, 2018, Summary.” Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/domestic-violence/family-domestic-sexual-violence-in-australia-2018/contents/summary.
Machado, Andreia, et al. “Exploring Help-Seeking Experiences of Male Victims of Female Perpetrators of IPV.” Journal of Family Violence, vol. 32, no. 5, 2017, p. 513+. Gale Academic OneFile, https://link-gale-com.ccny-proxy1.libr.ccny.cuny.edu/apps/doc/A498109078/AONE?u=cuny_ccny&sid=AONE&xid=3578aebd. Accessed 4 Nov. 2019.
